Copyright 2006 Karen Fusco
Learn to understand what your child is trying to tell you.
The breakdown in communication between Mother and Child doesn't begin with the onset of adolescence, as we would like to believe. From the time your children are infants, they are trying to get you to understand their wants, needs, feelings, and ideas. The following tips apply whether you're a Mom attempting to communicate with your teenagers or infants. It started way back with trying to decipher your child's baby-talk, right? But trust me, this stuff works. If you try these rules of engagement, the relationships you have with your children will be forever transformed and your daily life will feel tremendously enhanced.
1. Listen. Eliminate all distractions if possible. Having an environment conducive to listening is very important in effective communication. Your child should feel that they have your undivided attention and you want to feel the same. You will not always have the opportunity to control the volume in your environment. You still have the option of stepping away with your child to a quieter space.
2. Be Open. If you come to the table with preconceived notions and judgments, believe me, your child will pick up on them instinctively and communication will instantly deteriorate. Come into the conversation with an open mind so you can actually hear and be in tune with what it is your child is trying to tell you. This doesn't mean that you have to agree or give-in, it just means you have given free space for communication.
3. Validate. Everyone wants to know that their feelings, ideas and opinions are important and valued. So, while your child is talking to you or expressing themselves, take a moment to repeat what they have said and ask them, 'Did I get that right?' Then, describe some of the underlying feelings they may have based on what they've expressed. If you're dealing with a crying baby or toddler, the same thing applies. Let them know that you understand why they're upset, you like them to be happy again and that they will be okay. Validation of your child's feelings is extremely significant in building their self-confidence and self-esteem.
4. Compromise. Contrary to popular belief, compromising doesn't have to be a tug-of-war. After you listen to each other's perspective and communicate lovingly, offer some ways to negotiate with your child so that both of your needs are met, if possible. As a responsible parent, there will often be times when you shouldn't allow any of the things your child has requested. Instead you can suggest some safe alternatives that are healthy and acceptable for them to choose from. In return, ask your child to commit to providing you with some of your needs. This is especially related to conversations that Moms have with their teenagers. Teens are usually struggling with their self-identity and independence. Find a balance between understanding your child's needs and negotiating without risking responsibility. Depending on your child's maturity, you can determine the extent of space you give them to make decisions.
5. Body Language. A Mom's body language can send the toughest gangster into a fit of tears. Children quickly become sensitive to their Mother's look of disapproval or disappointment. If you want the conversation to go well, make sure your body language is positive and welcoming. Always maintain eye-contact with your children while you are conversing. It teaches good communication habits and it states that you are serious about what you are saying. Avoid crossing your arms and legs as it is extremely symbolic of defensiveness and stubbornness. Sit up straight and look attentive so your children will know you are focused on what they are saying. And please, whatever you do… DON"T roll your eyes unless you want to experience the boomerang affect. Children will mimic how you deal with stress in challenging times. So, Moms, be selective and aware of your body language when communicating with your child.
6. Tone. Screaming at your children turns them off and shuts them down. If they experience it at home, they will carry it wherever they go. Try to model healthy behavior during challenging conversations by keeping your volume at a peaceful level. This will show your child that you're still in control and are not reactive. Your tone not only sets the mood of the conversation, but also impacts how your children will interact and behave in society. So, speak to your child in the way that you would want them to speak to others – with love and respect.
7. Attitude. Nobody wants to interact with a person who has a bad attitude. The same thing goes for your children. They will not want to have a discussion with you if they feel your attitude is poor or sense tension. Try to release all the negative emotions and ideas you have with the situation first so you can speak and listen with a clear head and loving heart.
8. Honesty. Teach your kids to be honest by being honest with them. Besides, your child's memory is far sharper than your own! When you make promises, make sure you're able to hold up your end of the bargain. If you're dishonest with your children, you encourage them to not only be dishonest with you but to other people as well. The subject of honesty between Mother and Child is a delicate one. You must use your best judgment here. Children trust their Moms more than anyone else on earth from the time they take in their first breath of air. As a Mom, you have a responsibility to be delicate with your child's trust and confidence. When it is broken on your part, they will seek out ways to repair the hurt that may not be productive or safe.
9. Approach with Love. If you're coming from a place of love, the person you're talking to will feel it and be receptive. Everyone inherently wants to be loved and feel love. Always try to speak and act with benevolence and care. For the most part, people are reactive. If someone is expressing love to us, we will return the sentiment and be open for healthy communication.

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Karen Fusco is co-founder of http://www.SilkBow.com which supports Busy Moms with free gift ideas and helpful tips to meet the challenges of motherhood. SilkBow is the perfect place for the perfect gift. Karen can be reached directly at:
karen@SilkBow.com


10 Great Uses For Ordinary Vinegar Around The Home
10 Great Uses For Ordinary Vinegar Around The Home
by John Elliott aka Oaky Wood
Almost every home has this little gem in their larder as a food flavouring, but have you ever considered its many other properties too.
Vinegar is slightly acid, not the corrosive type, its ph is too low, but its acidity can be used quite effectively around the home and garden too.
Our forefather's knew the benefits of vinegar from its first introduction many hundreds of years ago and can safely replace many toxic commercial products, and actually be more efficient and cost effective.
1/. Adding just a small amount to a bowl of water, with a little lemon or limejuice will make your crockery and glassware sparkle. Its acidity is wonderful for removing grease. Not just your glassware use the same mixture combination for cleaning windows both in and out of the home, even the green algae on your greenhouse or conservatory will disappear, and make the panes shine. As a cleaning agent vinegar can be used all over the house, on kitchen work surfaces, utensils, cooker, fridge and freezer its natural antiseptic qualities makes it ideal for where children or animals are. The bathroom sink, walls, bath, toilet and bidet can all benefit from its wonderful properties.
2/. Wax build up on furniture can safely be removed using vinegar. As an ex-restorer of antiques I often used it in removing age-old grimy wax build-ups on French Polished surfaces without the hint of damage to this type of wood finish. All melamine, Formica or polyurethane finishes can also be effectively cleaned safely.
3/. Cars sparkle from a regular clean with vinegar, add a few drops of washing up liquid to the mixture and you have an excellent way of buffing your car or truck both in and out.
4/. Leather upholstery is easily degreased and brought back to its pristine former condition; also those leather biker's jackets and trousers can safely be cleaned too.
5/. As spring approaches use the vinegar, water, lemon/lime and a little washing up liquid combination to clean your glasshouse or conservatory staging and seating areas. Pots; both plastic and terracotta can be cleaned and sanitized, together with seed trays and hanging baskets.
6/. Shoes; yes even those patent leather ones can all be cleaned with vinegar then use your regular polish to finish and buff.
There's an old nursery rhyme;
Jack & Jill
went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down
and broke his crown
and Jill came tumbling after.
Up Jack got
and home did trot
as fast as he could caper
to go to bed
and mend his head
with vinegar and brown paper.
7/. Now this really was a way of helping cuts and bruises mend and not just an old rhyme. Oh it certainly smarts as it goes onto cuts, but it has very good anti-bacterial properties preventing them from going septic. The brown paper and vinegar draws out the bruising and helps it to heal quicker. This is quite a medieval treatment but still very effective when no alternative is available, especially for minor cuts and abrasions on both human's and pets alike. Of cause in medieval times paper was at a premium and was quite a luxury item, but large leaves from woodland plants were often used, together with lichens and mosses. Mostly old fabrics made for excellent bandages.
8/. Vinegar has been used effectively for cold treatments for many years, as its vapours loosen the mucus from a chesty cough. To make it more palatable and pleasant my grandmother used boiled raspberries, which also contain lots of vitamin C, with a little sugar and lemon juice, and added the vinegar. Simmering down to a fairly thick consistency. The mixture can be strained to take out the seeds if preferred but is not really necessary. Once cooled this homemade Raspberry Vinegar was a natural cough and cold prevention treatment. It would keep well in good sealed and sterilized glass bottles. Because many berries contain lots of vitamin C other combinations were also made. Raspberry Vinegar is available from commercial manufactures
9/. As for pets, add vinegar to their bathing water, it will make their fur shine, but also helps the infestation of tics and fleas, if done regularly Take care around your pets eyes as vinegar can sting for a while.
10/. Aching feet, no problem, sooth away those aches in a foot-spar of vinegar and warm water. Add witch hazel and camomile and you have a very therapeutic soak.
I've only just scratched the surface with the uses of ordinary household vinegar, and no doubt as you start to realize its full potential then you'll find so many more uses for this overlooked common household product. Many books have been written and are readily available from various sources


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Anna Josephs is a freelance journalist having experience of many years writing articles and news releases on various topics such as pet health, automobile and social issues. She also has great interest in poetry and paintings, hence she likes to write on these subjects as well. Currently writing for this website Borders Coupon Book. For more details please contact at annajosephs@gmail.com